Saturday, May 23, 2020

Arming Women for the Dating Battlefield

Reddit’s Female Dating Strategy forum offers honesty and tough love in a treacherous online world

By Christine Rosen. She is a is senior writer at Commentary and a fellow at the Institute for Advanced Studies at the University of Virginia.

If dating is a market, maybe services like this make the market more efficient. So "buyers" and "sellers" might be more likely to get what they want.

But first, let's hear from a famous psychologist:

Now some excerpts from the article:
"Enter Reddit, the self-described “front page of the internet,” which hosts more than a million discussion forums, including one devoted to Female Dating Strategy (FDS). With some 50,000 members, FDS is billed as “the first and only all-women dating subreddit,” where participants anonymously “discuss effective dating strategies for women who want to take control of their dating lives.”"

"Newcomers are encouraged to read the extensive FDS Handbook, which includes principles such as “Be a High-Value Woman,” “Don’t Have Sex Before Commitment” and “We Have the Responsibility to Be Ruthless in Our Evaluation of Men.” Although the last principle sounds harsh, it’s actually practical advice in the age of dating apps. Today’s Tinderella must swipe through a lot of ugly profiles to find her prince. “We do ourselves and humanity no favors allowing men to exhibit subpar behavior and be rewarded with our attention. Thus, be ruthless in cutting off men who add no value to your life,” the FDS Handbook states."

"the site distinguishes between “low-value men” (LVM) and “high-value men” (HVM). LVMs do things like lie about wanting a serious relationship when they only want sex (“future-faking”), refuse to make an effort to plan proper dates or are simply not financially independent, responsible adults."

"There might be a lot of LVMs, according to Female Dating Strategy, but there are also far too many women willing to tolerate bad behavior from them."

"The strategies that FDSers endorse, particularly for online dating, are backed by scientific research. In a 2010 study in the journal Computer Science by the data scientist Andrew Fiore and colleagues, women were found to be more selective than men when it comes to assessing potential suitors and more distrustful of men who didn’t respect the preferences that women stated for a match. But choosing wisely based on what someone’s profile says about them isn’t easy. Everyone lies: The Cornell University communications researchers Catalina Toma and Jeffrey Hancock found that men tend to lie about their height and women about their weight. Everyone is offering only selective disclosures about themselves.

That turns out to be a rational strategy. A 2007 study by Michael Norton, Jeana Frost and Dan Ariely in the Journal of Personal and Social Psychology found that when it comes to online dating, “although people believe that learning more about others leads to greater liking, more information about others leads, on average, to less liking.” In other words, the more ambiguous a person’s profile is, the more likely it is that interested potential matches will have to fill in the blanks with their best guesses."
Related posts:

Is It Okay To Use An App To Bribe Someone Into Going On A Date?

Who wrote your potential love's online dating profile? (maybe they outsourced it to a professional who specializes in that) 

When Women Earn More Than Men, Is Dating Affected?

Who Pays on the First Date? No One Knows Anymore, and It’s Really Awkward

Can Giving Up Money And Material Things Lead To More Love?

Can You Put A Price Tag On Love?

Do Opposites Attract? Not Usually, Except Maybe When It Comes To Money

eHarmony To Provide Personal Counselors To Help You Find Mr. Or Ms. Right

Do Women Really Value Income over Looks in a Mate? by Marina Adshade

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